Ambrose Mercier and the "domestic welfare call"

[Ministry]

Auror Mercier checking in and requesting locations for all Ministry personnel. Once again, Auror department has clearance for necessary force. Suspect seen on broom approximately four blocks south of hotel headquarters.

Hotel headquarters are secure and fires contained, second-floor sitting room has been equipped for all approved healers to start tending to injuries, civilian and otherwise.

- A.L.M
Auror, DMLE

[Private]

Eve - horse toy doll thing whatever it is Sent off
Ma - some vase or something send off at embassy tomorrow
Gab - do I have to? Probably. Regift that snowglobe.
DMLE - do I have to? Dearborn got me something and maybe get something good for Peasegood. Kid deserves it.
Snowglobe whats-his-name - should I?

Try to give a fuck? Should I?

[Below public]

American embassy here's hosting a Christmas dinner. Going to have a turkey and a ham and all. Don't know what you all do or if the British are doing anything but I'll bring leftovers if anyone wants any.

Someone from back home also thought it would be funny to send me chopped liver and matzo straight from the Lower East Side for Hanukkah. Got a whole five pounds of it and I sure ain't eating it all.

(after THIS)





Ain't that some shit.




At least last time I got a new Dictaquill out of it.



Glad to be leaving Cairo's American embassy, at least.

American embassy secretaries journalling me to come on over. I get there and everyone's huddled around the American stations.




Apparently last night John Lennon got shot.

[Warded to American Aurors back home, American Ministry of Magic]


I am thankful for not being fired.
I am thankful for not being trained in the British Auror Squad.
I am thankful for my country.
I am thankful that I was born in the United States of America.
I am thankful that I was able to work with Auror DeCosta.
I am thankful for the American Embassy in Cairo.
I am thankful that I have the choice to never go in a pyramid ever again as long as I live.


I am thankful for secretaries with no hard feelings accents I recognize.
I am thankful for an old Sam Cooke record I was able to dig up at the library here.
I am thankful for turkey and pecan pie floo-ed in from home.

I am thankful for my training.
I am thankful for my experience.
I am thankful for being a US citizen.

[/end ward]





You all got an equivalent of this American holiday or not?

Clearance given to use any and all necessary force to apprehend anyone not identifiable as Ministry personnel located within established perameters of pyramid security breach. Cast on sight.

Attn. Aurors: Including Unforgivables if necessary as stated and protocol for use outlined and discussed in official releases once wand malfunctions cease.

Remember to follow secure site protocol among muggle civilians. Use necessary force to keep this as quiet an operation as possible.

Once all suspects apprehended, proceed to coordinates (included) of Eastern Cemetery for followup and reconnaisance.


- A.L.M.
Auror, DMLE

[Ward to Ministry of Magic - one hand on the journal, the other on a muggle Zippo lighter]


Auror Mercier checking in. Causeway from Pyramid of Khufu leads to square-shaped tombs closer to ground level to the side of the pyramids according to my map. Eastern cemetery and rock-cut tombs adjoin the funerary temple and boat pits. Block on magic seems to not be in effect on these earlier tombs.

Location is north-east of Pyramid of Khafre. Not that you all have any compasses.


Report back with your location to the best of your limited knowledge. My location is currently at the Eastern cemetery, will follow my path and head on back to retrieve any missing personnel if need be.

Please tell me some arrests have been made. Please.

-A.L. Mercier


[written fifteen minutes later - same ward]

Puddles and blood and chirping. Anyone care to explain?

[wardfail due to owl attack - below PUBLIC (AKA random run-ins to follow please]

I-




Can anyone account for a white screech owl who feels inclined to attack quills?

[Warded to British Ministry of Magic - written via dictaquill, tipsiness apparent]



So I got a briefing from Aquamarine a secretary I know in the American Magical Embassy here in Cairo, asking me to come on over and help them unload a few crates of alcohol into their hospitality liquor cabinet that just came on over from the States. Since trying to find a decent drink in this town is like trying to find the motherfucking holy grail, they gave a box or two to me.



Peasegood, you doing anything right now? Bring Moody and Shacklebolt and Proudfoot with you. And who's that cute one with the curly hair? Fuck, can't remember her name now. Usually just call her honey.


I've got a fifth already down and this is good stuff. Y'all come on over real soon, y'hear?


Okay, got to go now, so just get over here soon. You hear me?





Now sweetie, see if you can apparate into my lap

[/end dictaquill ward]

[Warded to DMLE]

Say, what's protocol on using a ghost as an informant and source of leads?

That kosher here or no? Bones?

Now that would be one hell of a welcome for Proudfoot, I think. Us to make some damn progress on hunting these sons of bitches down.

[Warded to Ministry]


Can someone take a look at my arm again? Something's still fucked up. Don't know what the hell that curse was. Don't care to. Just know it was the kind of curse I stop from happening. Hurts deep in my skin, in my bones, even. Don't want to be taken off-duty because of it.



[Warded to DMLE]

Overdue on a drink, huh? Robards, Bones, Peasegood, you in? Feeling up to it? Because even with this fucking arm, I sure as hell am. Dearborn, how about you? "Welcome to Egypt, come for the pyramids, stay for the clusterfuck at a convention" drink?


[Rueben]

Weird question - can ghosts still give healing advice? Mine used to think they could. Sure as fuck couldn't.

[Warded to Ministry of Magic]


Lost track of duels and body-binds thrown out before I could get in a duel. Took some fucked up shit from some bitch with a damn low voice for a little girl in a veil. Was not expecting that. Now there's dragons running all over the damn place apparently. And a sphinx. Duels and fires still happening?

Hold on. Remember now. Now there's someone running around bashing people's heads in with a red rock?



Robards. Bones. Need someone on this?


Damn shitstorm is what this is.




[Private to Rueben]

Still kind of odd writing to you. Not getting used to that. Still fucking odd. Ain't no good thing or no bad thing. Just fucking odd.


Still with me or no?

[warded to Ministry]

Well well well.

Is there any female member of the British Ministry left in the Cairo area that I didn't flirt with or ask to dare to apparate into my lap this weekend?


Anyways, apologies all around.

[Warded to Ministry]


Arabian Nights. Fuckawful name for a club in Cairo. Sounds like a strip club in Queens.

If those bastards back home could see what I've been sent to do now.


Ignorantia juris neminem excusat. Not even their own kind.
I'm collecting drunk or high girls and hopefully going to get a drink finally.

[/end ward]




Secretary wrangling.
Start guessing what it is.

[Ministry}

Anti-disapparation ward up in place in backstage, not able to secure entire area without backup. Have no backup. Aurors on duty, arrest on sight. You know who we've been briefed about. There is a secured area onstage for injuries until an approved healer arrives, I will be assisting those who require it. So far arrested and awaiting being taken into custody are suspects Flint and Scabior, and


[fail!ward made public due to curses and dropped journals]





Suspect John Johnson is under arrest and taken into custody.

[Heavily warded to Ministry]

As the fashion show featuring the diadem is tonight, August 8 1980, at 8 PM - as I'm sure you've all been briefed previously on, the Auror squad is requesting to know each and every member involved with the Ministry of Magic on this assignment. Auror presence will be heavy, so we need to hear from every other Department and who they are sending. No exceptions. If you're polyjuicing or undercover, also give all details if you know them, as soon as you know them. Keep your journals on you at all times, as they did come in handy during the airplane assignments, especially you, Miss Jorkins, if you're involved.

Your cooperation in this matter is of vital importance. The Auror squad of the DMLE appreciates your timely response.


Signed,

A.L. Mercier, Auror, DMLE

[AURORS]


So I may have invited myself to Albanian food at Bertha Jorkins' house on Friday.


Going right on into the dragon's den, it seems.
If you don't hear from me at work after that, send help. I'll try to send a Patronus warning if I end up with metal in my jugular. Can't even think of what it is. Last I checked I think it was a horse. You all use those, don't you?

[Warded to the Ministry of Magic]

Trainee's housing, huh. People been asking me how I'm adjusting and I'll be honest, ain't much different from living in a house with a couple hundred ghosts. Shared bathrooms on each floor, loud noises at all hours of the early morning. Makes me feel kind of like a kid again. Except for all the actual kids calling me Grandpa. Thank God I ain't got a roommate. Ah well. Part of the job. Seems kind of foolish to spring out and rent an actual flat with a contract if I don't know how long I'm going to be here with the British Ministry. For now, living like a college student is the name of the game.

Was also wondering - any good lunch suggestions around here? Don't like hamburgers and hot dogs before you tell me what everyone else's been telling me just because my voice is different from all of you.

Been meaning to get more acquainted with the area around the Ministry, will take suggestions on what to do to get that whole "Londoner" feel down.


And Miss Jorkins, thank you for the thing you called a pudding. I was expecting something much different but these new word meanings are going to take some getting used to. At any rate, it was damn good, and thank you.

Also for that book.
It's interesting.
Again. Not what I was expecting, but thanks for thinking of me.

Even if it's in that way, I suppose.
Gave the coworkers something to laugh at. I think Savage said "have a good night, bodice-ripper" as I left work last night.

[/end Ministry ward]



Indian food. Now when I think of what I thought British food would be like, something so spicy it makes a southerner sweat isn't quite what came to mind as something you all love. But everywhere I look I see it.

I could get used to this.

[Heavily warded to Ministry of Magic]


We appear to have a situation on Pan Am Flight 251, if I'm not mistaken, on which Miss Bertha Jorkins is assigned. There appears to be a medical emergency and basic, if not advanced at this point, healing may be required. From what I gather, a shrapnel wound to the neck may be involved.

Do not, by any means, attempt to apparate onto a moving airplane. Healers may need to communicate instructions via journal to remain as discrete as possible. If my understanding is correct I believe Auror Dawlish is assigned to that flight. Do let someone know as soon as possible if you need assistance.

Miss Jorkins, keep us informed as to how the situation is progressing.

Thank you.

A.L. Mercier.